Friday, March 17, 2006

What the hell is Raul calling me?



Everyday when I jump on the Bart train to go to work, the BART station attendee, Raul, says "Hi" to me as I pass through the gates. I'm glad that him and I have become familiar enough with each other to say "Hi", but what concerns me about our greeting is that he always says "Hi" followed by a word that I can never quite understand. It sounds like he says "Hi, Meoh." That's "Meoh" as in the two words "Me" and "Oh". I have been trying to pay closer attention the past month to see if I could figure out exactly what he is calling me, but every time the "Meoh" comes out, it sounds distorted and I can't quite put my finger on it. I brainstormed some possibilities of what "Meoh" could be. Here's what I have come up with so far:

1. Maybe Raul is calling me "Meo" as in the Mexican equivalent to Neo from The Matrix. I have always thought of myself as "special" and there was that one time where Cari threw the remote control at me and I was easily able to duck out of the way- very much like the way that Neo ducked out of the way from all those bullets in the movie. The remote control just floated past me in the air and I was not only able to maneuver myself out of the way, but more impressively I was able to press "38" on the remote to change the TV back to ESPN as it flew past me. Maybe Raul is my Morpheus and he is just waiting for the right time to tell me that I am "The One"? Maybe one day, right there at the Bart station, he will confront me and in front of all the passengers we will have a 10 minute battle scene where he challenges my fighting skills and lets me know that he will be my guide through The MexTrix. Just in case, I will try and buy a black trench coat soon and practice my Keanu Reeves "Whoa..."

2. Maybe Raul is saying "Mijo" as in the abbreviated form of "Mi hijo" which means "My son" in Spanish. Could Raul be God and I'm like his son Jesus? Maybe he has noticed lately that I have been sacrificing a lot for everyone around me. Just the other day, when I was on the BART train, an elderly woman came hobbling onto the train and instead of doing the usual "pretending like I'm asleep so that I don't have to give up my seat", I decided to give up my seat and stand. Yes, my stop was the next stop, but anyone who knows me, knows how lazy I am and standing on my feet for even a minute is a sacrifice...Hmmmm... Maybe it's just a matter of time before Raul/God will ask me to make the Ultimate Sacrifice. When he does tell me that it's my time, I will ask all my readers to come with me to Chevy's and there, we will have "The Last Supper". I will pour some margaritas and break a tortilla as a symbol of my blood and body...Ok, a little overboard. I'll wait until Raul confronts me before I decide where the Last Supper will be.

3. Maybe Raul is a cannibal and is playing a sick and demented mind game with me by calling me "Meal" every time he sees me? I have been working out the past couple of months so maybe he has noticed some thickness in my arms and chest and is salivating over the chance to dig in. I must say too that if I was a cannibal, my huge head would look pretty appetizing. One might say that with all my knowledge and wisdom digging into my head would be like eating a Power Bar. If Raul is a cannibal and is planning on eating me for nutritional purposes, my best bet would be to watch a crapload of useless TV, drink as much beer as I can, and sleep all day to rid my body and mind of any useful nutrients that Raul could possibly use ...Oh..wait a minute...I already do all that....hmmmm.

Anyone else have any other possibilities of what "Meoh" could be?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i,m with you on the mijo, you may be the chosen ONE !!!!

SANDIAS